The Scientologists

There was a time when Sol liked more things than he hated. A time of innocence, a time of joy. Unfortunately, Tom Cruise pretty much destroyed those halcyon days for Sol.

One day, a happy-go-lucky Sol was walking down the street, minding his own business. He happened upon a table selling a book called Dianetics, a book which promised solutions to all problems related to stress, unhappiness, depression and self-doubt. At the time, he had none of these problems... but as an avid reader he was intrigued. He unsuspectingly purchased this book from the nice people manning the stand, giving them his name, address, phone number, and credit card number.

As you can imagine, things unraveled pretty quickly. Before he knew it, Sol was Scientology Converstion Target #1. They were agressive and unrelenting. The filled his mailbox with propaganda, blew up his phone, and quite possibly had his location tracked via GPS. Ironically, the mere act of buying Dianetics caused the very same problems for Sol that the book promised to correct. This made Sol very angry, and very well may have made him into the person he is today.

To gain Sol's trust, you must denounce Xenu, L. Ron Hubbard, and Tom Cruise. In fact, should Scientology ever be brought up, you should subtly hint that you are a member of Anonymous and are working diligently to bring the bastards down. Only when they are destroyed will Sol truly learn to love again.